Smooth and suave, that's how many would define me. A lot charm, intelligence and wit in a compact package. It's just in my DNA. I can talk myself out of any situation and walk right in if I really want something. My persistence is as sharp fresh blade on a straight edge razor. It's never intentional. It just happens. To further round out my persona, I dress with impeccable unique style, am meticulous with grooming and hygiene, am a bit cocky and very sure of myself. I am confident to the Nth degree. I know what I've accomplished in life, am full of ambition and that is what determines my trajectory, not the opinions of others.
Learn To Navigate The Socio-Sphere
When it comes to social situations, I know where I fall in the grand scheme of things, meaning how others perceive me. I'm okay with that. But I never care what the outcome is of any social setting. As long as I don't get hurt physically and leave any scene with nothing less than I came into it with, believe me when I say I'm good. Of course, if collect something nice, that's always a plus. I avoid negativity of any kind and confront insults with witty comebacks. Respect begets respect.
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With that preface, this takes us to a situation which happened a few years ago. I was hanging out with a few of my buddies at a latin nightclub in Queens, NY. I went in the with the intent of having a good time, sharing some laughs and meeting some nice ladies. My buddies went with the intent of hooking up. I am the shortest of the groups. My friends averaged about 5'11, where I am a few inches shy of that. One of my buddies is my workout partner. He is built and actually boxes when he's not working as a security guard. He has blue eyes, a thick Bulgarian accent and isn't exactly the sharpest knife in the drawer. That said, the ladies love him. While he can't dance and is generally a wallflower, he needn't worry. The ladies will approach him.
Exude Value And Rock Your Niche
While I was able to pull a number or two through dancing (I kill it when it comes to dancing Salsa) and conversation during the two or three hours we were there after midnight, by the 3 o'clock hour, I was on the wrong side of the tipsy (though fully cognizant) and things were getting a bit stale. My buddy has already pulled a number and looked bored after the woman he was trying to take home bailed. It was time to go. Never willing to hop into a car after a few drinks, I dragged my buddy who was close to drunk down to a famous 24 hour diner up the block where people famously go to sober up after a night of hard partying.
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When we walk into the diner, there were two women, one of which was one of the most beautiful women I had ever saw. She was Dominican, about 5'4 (clearly taller than me in her stilettos), long jet black hair, hourglass figure, perky boobs and a dress that seemed to hug her body in all of the right places. The other one wasn't anything to write home about. Overweight, crooked teeth, a round face and a very annoying voice. Guess who my buddy wanted to talk to? He got beauty while I was stuck with the beast, and she didn't seemed thrill to hang with a minion either, but everyone was friendly.
Solid Frame Will Do The Talking
Well, I got my lucky break because in the beginning neither were interested in me. My buddy was the center of the conversation with both women asking him what he did, how often he goes out and the usual interview questions. I just sat, dressed dapperly sipping a glass of water and eating quesadillas to soak up the remaining alcohol in my system. I listened in as my buddy gave the broads the run-down about his life story. He mentioned how he was 33, a security guard for four years, lives with his family in his basement and was comfortable in life. The intensity of the conversation waned pretty quickly. Then Jessica Rabbit asked me what I did for a living. What happened next was shocking or pathetic depending on your perspective. The conversation went a little like this:
Jessica Rabbit: So what do you do?
Me: Oh, I work for the district offices in the schools in my district, I teach classes at the local college and run an online store.
Plain Woman: Wow, that's really cool
Jessica Rabbit: *While looking at me* That's so awesome! I'm about to finish school. I'm just finished school last year with a degree in childhood education and work with families. Do you have kids of your own?
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From there, I received a look of disgust and displeasure from my buddy. All of a sudden, the spotlight was on me, and I was the focus of the conversation. I didn't know this, but those women were also in the club that night and saw the both of us dancing.
Jessica Rabbit: Where did you learn how to dance like that? I'm Dominican, do you speak Spanish?
Me: Yes I do
We were in this diner for another hour and needless to say, at the end both women were so intrigued with what I did and was getting ready to accomplish that they wanted to continue the conversation further, so both gave me their number without me asking for it. Plain Jane wanted some career advice while Jessica Rabbit wanted to hang out. She gave me a hug and waved to my buddy. At this point, I had sobered up completely and was ready to head home. My buddy looked visibly pissed. I asked him what he thought of the girls and he said "they aint sh**". I normally drop him home, but he insisted that he take a cab because he wasn't feeling well. Okay.
Engage In Self-Reflection
So what was the lesson here? Don't for a second think that this was all roses. Yes, I won both women, but what was the rationale? Jessica Rabbit clearly wasn't interested in me from the jump, but because she found out about my aspirations and current standing, my attractiveness was elevated. This is two fold. She could be genuinely attracted to me (now), or she could have subliminally checked me into her beta box waiting to use me for whatever resource I could provide be it for connections, advice or someone to kill time with. What else? My buddy who at first glance is a woman's dream had his SMV drop through the floor because of his occupation, living situation and lack of ambition. You see when it comes to men, women aren't strictly visual creatures like us. Sure looks trigger their appetites, but the whole package means much more and can give you a key to the lock or the door slammed in your face. I was funnier, witter, more intelligent, a better conversationalist and according to her (later), very attractive. It was the whole package that made her arrive to the "so attractive that I want him" conclusion.
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Oddly enough, I was interested in any of the women because at the time, I had my eyes set on someone else. Jessica Rabbit did text me a few times and even got sexual with some of her replies, but I just let that fade out of respect to my buddy. You know the unwritten bro code, even though his attitude that night should have been enough to take advantage of the number exchange and get laid. I will admit that I did get carried away a bit in the very beginning. She complimented my physique over and over again when I sent her a couple of workout pics. I knew better than that though.
Assess Their Mindset
Short guys and men in general beware! Initial chemistry is very important, and any growth of attraction while natural, should be met wit a grain of skepticism. Everyone has an agenda so always be weary of how you got from point a to point b with someone and consider the real reasons why any woman may warm up to you. It could be she wants something, she genuinely likes you, or both. If it is both, you're dealing with a powder keg. You've been warned.
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