If there's anything you need to remember in life, it should be the following two statements - Everyone has an agenda, and everyone acts out of self-interest. Yeah pal, even you do this. Remember the last time you laughed at your boss's corny joke, or cozied up to that hottie you met in the lounge during the Thursday after work special? That's your agenda in action. Women are no different, though we like to think of our fairer counterparts as constant damsels in distress (eject that notion from your head now).
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"Vetting" is a very popular term these days in politics and it couldn't be anymore important when deciding whether to take that special friendship you have with your lady friend to the next level, especially with you being a short man. It's get, or get got in this dating game. Believe it or not, you do have a lot to lose. Here are some tips to help you avoid getting "used or cheated on with your approval" (due to your ignorance or appeasement), or in other words, "cucked". Read on.
Why exactly is the woman you're dating seeing you? Many will say that asking this question reeks of insecurity, but if you have a speck of common sense in that brain of yours you will strongly consider the answer to this. When a woman decides you're the one she wants commitment from, it's because you provide something of value to her that she can't get elsewhere at the time being. Remember everyone has an agenda and everyone acts out of self-interest.
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If the answer to that question turns out to be anything beside "love", then keep your eyes wide open. Quantitative things like money, connections, material things, attention and time are hard or impossible to get back, so you better be getting something in return. High status men who are conscious know exactly what they bring to table and always consider this when making a new connection. Be aware and always connect the dots. Remember everyone has an agenda and everyone acts out of self-interest.
Here's an anecdote, a woman I work with, let's call her Jenny. Jenny is divorced, has three kids, a low-wage wage job, and horrible credit. She's also hotter than the inside of a George Foreman grill. The guy she is seeing, let's call him Jim. He's another co-worker of mine (mistake number one, never crap where you eat). He has a kid, but amazing credit, an advanced degree and a big house in suburbia to boot. Jim is head over soles with Jenny because she treats him like a king. Is she that amazing of a woman does she have him right where she wants him? Food for thought. Remember everyone has an agenda and everyone acts out of self-interest.
Past Habits Predict Future Behavior
Two summers ago, I wrote a piece here called "Beware Of The Reformed Heightist Woman". It was about women who openly limited themselves to dating tall men and then "all of a sudden" dropped their height requirements as their age numbers skyrocketed. Let's extend that warning to dating any woman who is "reformed". The saying "old habits die hard" is just about sacrosanct. We all know a dame or two (or ten) who dated losers in their prime and then went on to condemn all men with a plethora of status updates on their social media newsfeeds. All of a sudden she wants a "good man". Why the change? Maturity? If you think that's the answer then I have a bridge to sell you.
One of the new mantras posted by a lot of women on social media is "I'm not for everybody". It's supposed to suggest that they are "okay" with all men not finding them attractive. Really? Let's decode this. Many of these women had dobermans at their gates that would bark ferociously any man that wasn't their type. They would get frustrated if their pictures didn't get a lot of likes or get anxiety if they went a day without compliments. Now "they're not for everybody"? Sounds like sour grapes to me. What they're really saying is, "I couldn't get what I wanted". Daters beware. Don't be the one she settles for.
What does this mean to you? Dig into their pasts. Develop trust and ask peering questions. What kind of men did they date? What are their habits? Are they on social media a lot? A woman I dated years ago was a former club-a-holic. She had pictures of her and girlfriends partying and had tons of online friends. Deep conversations revealed a ton of past hook-ups and lots of current male friends she could "count on". Peeks at her messages uncovered lots of men trying with ferocity to remain in contact. The writing was on the wall boys. In this day and age, there are tons of women out there like this. Do you think they are willing to walk away from the attention and options galore?
First On Your List, Second On Hers
Your needs must be your top priority no matter what. Every fairy tale you've ever read had some version of a man catering to a woman's every whim to get her and keep her. How many times have you had dates paid for and showered with gifts constantly? I'll wait - Fairy tale conventions in action. The players know the rules of the game. Be aware and lay down your own.
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There was a woman who made the news a few years ago for snagging $1200 in free meals from men she met through a dating site. She kept track of all the Prince Charming wannabes using an Excel spreadsheet. Needless to say, none of these men made it to the relationship phase. At the end of the day all of them had thinner wallets and time they could never get back. She on the other hand had more disposable income, lots of attention and a perpetually full stomach. While this case is extreme, there are tons of people out there like that who exploit others for their own gain. Put the effort in, but do your homework. If she isn't putting in effort with you, she probably is somewhere else.
So What's On Your Agenda?
What does this have to do with you being a short dude? If you're self-assured but conscious, then you're keenly aware on how society views shortness in men regardless of your confidence level. Women who date short men, even those who express a preference are very aware of this perception. This fact may inadvertently affect how and why someone interacts with you. Keep this in the back of your mind and move accordingly.
How can you spot someone with an agenda? The girlfriend I have now can't get enough of me and does everything in her power to see me, regardless of her commitments. She constantly talks about our future with optimism, makes it a point to attend events of which I'm a part of, approaches everything with a 50/50 mindset and always seeks ways to improve the lives of us both. I reciprocate and act the way a man should putting in work. You might say I have a unicorn on my hands. It could be however that she has me exactly where she wants me. Once again, be aware! You have been warned.
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